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I am 26 and my friend is 30. We are looking for two guys to hang out with. we are thinking of going to the casino tonight then hopefully having a fun make out session afterwards! PLEASE no sex. Maybe even make a friend or more. me with pix and I will reply with some of us.
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Hello and thank you for taking the time to open my ad. I have to warn you that it will be a bit lengthy, but I just don't want anyone's time wasted. I'm single, tall, AA, and very honest. I have a good sense of humor and if you're looking a for nice girl then that is definately me. In the same breath do not mistake it for a weakness either. I'm looking for someone to spend time with and get together once a week. We could bowl, dinner, movie, or just chat. I do like to go on dates, but this is not mandatory. I'm looking for friendship and if we both decide for more then that is fine as well. I do not have any preference on race, size, or age. Not saying I'm desperate, but it's about your personality that will keep me interested. I am spontaneous so sometimes I'll just say let's hang out. If you want a friend who texts or s to say hello I'm definately your type of girl. Seems lately I'm running into women in "situations." I understand life isn't always sunshine and smiles, but seriously just be honest up front. I know I said earlier no preference on race, age, or size, but I do have some requirements. So I ask you please read carefully before you respond. Oh and if you're a night owl that's cool I am one too.
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So here I sit, strumming my guitar app for my I, no real clue how to play, but I swear it sounds like Eric Fucking Clapton is right here! So, as you read this, in your head, hear the sound of a strumming guitar app. . .
Now, before I get too far into this, I want to educate a few of you out there. Like when you post an ad, and you say, "I am real", that does not really mean you are real. Don't you think that's what the bots and scammers say as well? (still strumming) What about when you say "No Pic, no response", isn't that something a pic collector would say? "No spam please", I hate to break it to you, but bots and scammers are not really reading your post, they don't know you don't want to hear from you. (still strumming) "Seeking Men for my solemate", well, this one either smells of one uneducated chic, or a bot, checking your spelling and use of the correct plurals and nouns. If you are fat, just say your fucking fat. A few extra pounds is not the same as overweight, and average body type is not a size k a year, he has the body of Brad Pitt in the movie Troy, and the blue eyes of Paul Walker with an accent like Antonio Banderas. He wakes up every morning to cook her breakfast, making perfect blue berry pancakes, then makes sure she has a fresh credit card, and tells her to go shopping, cause he would love to see her in some new pumps! Meanwhile, he will stay home and clean the house, do the laundry and have dinner waiting for her when she gets home from a long day of shoes hopping. Guys are a little easier, at least I think, We want a medium height girl with the ass of Ines Sainz, the chest of Christina Hendricks, the smile of Christina Hendricks and the red hair of Christina Hendricks. We want her to offer to give us bj during the game, when playing video games, we we are just watching tv and just cause she has an oral fixation. We want her to know what she is doing, and not just think she does cause guys have told her, but actually know and can finish the job. We want you to meet our mom and think she is the greatest person ever (next to me) and can cook more than 3 dishes, oh, how about paying for a date every so often. See, we are easy!
Still strumming my i guitar app and still suck. So, about me (other than my ranting's), I smoke, I have not missed a day of work in the last 7 years, I have lived in the same small studio for the last 10 years. I don't ski, I don't jog and I don't go to the gym. I don't hike 14eres, I eat meat and I am NOT PC. I don't think everything in life should be catered towards kids and families, and I don't think the victims of the Aurora shooting should be suing because there were not guards or alarms on the exit door, and the fucktard suing WB for making the violent movie. . . ASSHAT! If you know that guy, don't email me, I will punch you and then tell you to pass it on. I hope Obama does not get re0elected, but am prepared for the upcoming civil war if he is. I wake up each day and pray for the zombie apocalypse to happen, at least then we could get rid of a lot of stupid people. Fit, Bicycle & Music Junkie. I will sometimes randomly say things like (in a terrible Sean Connery voice)" Highlander, there can only be one." I think tofu is gross, and people who order it might as well drive a fucking smart car. Oh, for those of you who eat only organic shit, recent study says that's really not much better. It's a step up from licking the hand rail on the light rail, but a carrot is a fucking carrot. When I go to drink, I like to go my secret smoking bar, but I do like going out to a few places downtown and people watch. In reading this, I realize I sound like a handful, but I am really not much worse than anyone else, I am just telling you about now, rather than you finding out later. OH! I am 5'8-'9
As for you, hell, if you made it this far that is pretty good! I don't like really big girls, I don't like really skinny girls, so I guess you will just have to take a chance. But I would say range wise probably 4-10. Have a job, a place to live, so fucking personality, like to have lots of sex, know how to give head and think smart cars are dumb. You should also be flirty and not easily offended. And a hot ass would not hurt either ;)
If for some strange reason you want to respond, I have news for you if your name is: Sandra, Lexi, Mary, Delores and Christine. . . a lot of bots use those names, you better be pretty fucking convincing. Throw in a pic, no need in us talking only to find out you are too this or too that, you hear me? Subject line, bra size, underwear color AND jean size. And while I am flattered when I get an email from someone who is not my type, but just wants to chat, I am glad I could entertain you that much, but I probably won't respond, I get bored easily sadly, but I still wish you the very best!
Oh, if you are one of those who wonders how many responses Woman wants nsa Chenequa I will get from this ad, the answer is 50. 40 of those will be bots/spam. In the end, I just want one really good one.
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